Seeking God
Dear friends and family of Hilton Baptist Church,
I have come to realize I experience spiritual dullness during the months of January, February and March. I sense dreariness and frequent yearnings for light and life in my soul. I suppose there are explainable reasons for this.
January is my least favorite month because we have just come off the holidays experiencing thankfulness and expressions of light and good will. Also, it seems to me January is the darkest of all the months. February is a difficult month because I lost my grandfather, a beloved aunt and a favorite uncle. Also, I celebrate a birthday in February and I tend to become negatively self-reflective thinking of all I did not accomplish in the past year. To me, March is simply nature’s way of dangling the promise of Spring before us and yet we can’t quite reach it. Also, does anyone else ever feel that March is the looooongest month of the year?
Karen has a much simpler explanation for all this. She tells me I suffer from S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). As it frequently occurs, she is probably right. I am most likely over analyzing myself when it could simply be the dark and dreary days of winter are having an effect on my psyche.
Whether it is S.A.D. or simply the winter “blahs”, this does prove to be a challenge for me spiritually. I must intentionally find ways to bring the light into my soul and be ever more aware of God’s presence throughout my days. One of my practices is to read a book containing Scripture passages, prayer and a collection of randomly selected thoughts each morning. I read something recently that I found great comfort in. I share it with you in the hope it might encourage you as well.
“Every morning at 6:45 I go to the small convent of the Carmelite Sisters for an hour of prayer and meditation. I say ‘every morning’, but there are exceptions. Fatigue, busyness, and preoccupations often serve as arguments for not going. Yet without this one hour a day for God, my life loses its coherency and I start experiencing my days as a series of random incidents and accidents.
My hour in the Carmelite Chapel is more important than I can fully know myself. It is not an hour of deep prayer, nor a time in which I experience a special closeness to God; it is not a period of serious attentiveness to divine mysteries. I wish it were! On the contrary, it is full of distractions, inner restlessness, sleepiness, confusion and boredom. It seldom, if ever, pleases my senses.
But the simple fact of being for one hour in the presence of the Lord and showing him all that I feel, think, sense, and experience, without trying to hide anything, must please him.”
~ A selection from “Gracias!” written by Henri J.M. Nouwen in the devotional book A Guide to Prayer for All Who Seek God by Norman Shawchuck and Reuben P. Job
May we all continue to seek our Lord completely aware that our seeking is more important than we can fully know, and that our seeking does, in fact, please Him!
Much peace and grace,
Dan
Categories: Pastors Message